Tag Archives: Trust

Speaking Event Feb. 22nd, What It Means To Build A Relationship

13 Feb

Who:
Open to the Public, $12 registration fee

When:
February 22nd @ 7:00pm

Where:
New Renaissance Bookstore, 1338 NW 23rd Ave, Portland, Oregon 97210

What:
In the mid-1980s, Scott was a single father committed to raising his energetic young boys while managing a career as a building contractor and a spiritual practitioner, using meditation to stay grounded. To help process the often overwhelming crash course he was on as a parent, he began recording thoughts about his kids on a simple voice recorder kept in his truck. Those reflections ultimately evolved into his tale of fatherhood and developed into the book, The Dad Connection. Scott found that his parenting style often contradicted famed parenting experts. He believes that most relationships can deepen and grow more meaningful when approached with a specific intent to build something great. During this event Scott Hanley will be talking about what it means to “build” a relationship, especially with our children.

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Strive To Be The Best Dad

6 Feb

Continued from last week’s discussion on settling as a mediocre parent versus becoming a great parent.

I heard a TED talk by a man who was speaking about what he learned from his experience with a near fatal airplane crash. It was a relatively short talk for TED but impactful. In summary this very successful businessman said he learned, as his plane was minutes from crashing into the water, that he wanted to finish his bucket list; to be nicer to people, to love his family and friends more, and to fix his messes with loved ones. To his surprise in those brief moments another priority rose to the surface of what he believed to be his last thoughts. It was be a great dad, all else second. Why was taking care of his children all of a sudden the single most important thing? He didn’t give a reason he just said it had risen to the top of his life’s priorities.

How many times have we heard someone say “I wish I had spent more time with my kids” or “I hope I will be a better grandparent than I was a parent”? Perhaps you’ve even heard, “I wish I knew then what I know now, I would have been a better dad”. It goes on and on. The point is, we don’t have to wait until we are too old to have more kids, or after we have succeeded in accomplishing a successful material life, or after a near death experience.

It is in our genetic nature to care, we just have to let our natural instincts work and commit. Although this is not easy in our competitive culture, we must remove the layers of worry, fear, and apprehension, and connect to the basic and nature of our core life process- to care for our offspring. It is our first responsibility. So it is not enough to be the best dad you can be, it is simply to be the best dad period. Read, look, feel and commit. Life can be long or life can be short.

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Scott’s Speaking Event: New Renaissance Bookstore

5 Feb

The Parenting Generational Gap – Part 2

16 Jan

This is part two of the Parenting Generational Gap, in part one I explain how we need to change our mindset from that of child self teaching to that of proper parenting.

This will undoubtedly require a shift in perspective by the parent. He or she will have to accept the fact that they have the where-with-all to get informed and it is their parental responsibility to do it. I’ve been hanging out with some grandparents lately and when we begin discussing their grandchildren this same type of closed and opinionated mindset is expressed. I understand that a significant number of older parents are not as well informed and certainly many of them did not have the unique advantage contemporary parents have with regard to information.

Today you can literally be in a conversation with your child and if you are unsure how to advise him/her then you can google it. Rarely is an intelligent and relevant answer not there. Amazing, simply amazing. Therefore it is no longer excusable to tell our children “You’ll have to figure it out.” or “Nobody told me when I was your age.” It is our responsibility to provide our kids with relevant information, now what they do with it is a different discussion entirely.

The Parenting Generational Gap – Part 1

9 Jan

“Nobody told me how to get friends when I was your age, I just did it”.

“My teacher didn’t tell me how to study for a test, I learned from my mistakes”.

“My parents didn’t tell me how to have a good marriage, I learned it the hard way”.


This is such an closed minded reaction by a parent to their kids. In the past I have heard this many times when talking to parents about their children and what they think their kids deserve. Some older parents actually believe that not knowing because they weren’t taught is okay. This philosophy and the branding of their own parenting style around it is lazy at best and borders on irresponsible at the worst.

We have the wonderful opportunity today to know much more than our parents and our offspring will know much more than us. This is the cycle that should advance, not the tired and overused “I didn’t have it and I turned out okay, so you will be fine too” mentality.  It takes a wish to learn more, to understand better and to provide a different intelligence as the parent. This is a different paradigm than that of many of our previous generations and it should be embraced.

Read more on this topic next Wednesday, January 16th.