We have the wonderful opportunity today to know much more than our parents and our offspring will know much more than us. This is the cycle that should advance, not the tired and overused “I didn’t have it and I turned out okay, so you will be fine too” mentality. It takes a wish to learn more, to understand better and to provide a different intelligence as the parent. This is a different paradigm than that of many of our previous generations and it should be embraced.
If we exercise our capacity to focus and pay attention it will grow and the relationship will grow, just like our children. Our adult relationships do not and should not have the same unconditional priority and commitment as our children but I think we can take some of the good practices that we develop and grow within the dynamic child/parent exchange and apply them to our more meaningful adult relationships.
How Much Attention Is Too Much? – http://wp.me/pXO5l-i0
Adult Attention Struggle – http://wp.me/pXO5l-i8
Being Attentive In Adult Relationships – http://wp.me/pXO5l-id
Giving The Gift of Attention – http://wp.me/pXO5l-ih
Energy In Adult Relationships Get Easier With Time – http://wp.me/pXO5l-il
My guest post on Single Parents is up on The Successful Single Dad.
This blog post is a continuation of the blog post How Much Attention Is Too Much? in which I review the priority level of a child with a new couple. I left off discussing a story of a couple I was observing in the Pearl District in Portland, Oregon.
The couple wrapped up their conversation and the friends with the dog left. The young mom uttered a half hearted goodbye while she was wrapping up her baby, again without looking up, I shrugged and dismissed most of my ‘judging’ thoughts. I thought too much attention is probably better than too little.
But when they left and I found myself still thinking about this situation. It dawned on me that they didn’t even really look at each other the entire time. They talked to each other without taking their eyes off their baby. I wondered what their short adult relationship may have been like before the baby. Then of course my mind wandered further down that made up mental path and I pondered what it would be like if we all treated our important adult relationships like these two treated their new child. What if we were unconditionally and undistractedly attentive to our partner, brother, sister, mother, father and best friend?
Would it be too much? I think so. But perhaps some of this ‘over’ attention might just be a better thing than what seems to be more of the norm today.