Tag Archives: grow

New Interview: Passport to Parenting

9 Apr

ScottHanley

Several weeks ago I had the opportunity to meet with Kim DeMarchi and Ann DeWitt of Passport To Parenting and tape a live show on my book, The Dad Connection. Not only did I have a wonderful time meeting with both of them, but it’s always special when you find that someones parenting values align with your own.

Please listen as the ladies at Passport to Parenting and I discuss:

  • Three rules I used when raising my boys
  • The most important thing you can do as a parent
  • The building the bridge metaphor from The Dad Connection
  • Advice for single parents
  • Our personal parenting inspirations
  • How to stay connected to your child, even in the tween years

CLICK HERE to hear our conversation and the full Passport to Parenting show on The Dad Connection.

The Parenting Generational Gap

9 Jan


A Taste:
We have the wonderful opportunity today to know much more than our parents and our offspring will know much more than us. This is the cycle that should advance, not the tired and overused “I didn’t have it and I turned out okay, so you will be fine too” mentality.  It takes a wish to learn more, to understand better and to provide a different intelligence as the parent. This is a different paradigm than that of many of our previous generations and it should be embraced.

Links:
The Parenting Generational Gap – Part 1 –http://wp.me/pXO5l-k9
The Parenting Generational Gap – Part 2 –http://wp.me/pXO5l-kc

Energy In Adult Relationships Gets Easier With Time

24 Oct

This blog post is a continuation of the blog post Giving The Gift of Attention in which I discussed the effort of “giving” attention in adult relationships. I left off discussing how if we apply greater attention to our adult relationships, it will get easier with practice.


I’m sure the majority of new parents wonder how in the world they will find enough energy, focus, and attention to adequately take care of a child, yet they do it and most do it very well. After exercising this capacity with the first child it strengthens and generally successive children are not as challenging. Our children still take extraordinary amount of time but for many parents it does seem to be easier the second and third time around.

I believe this can happen as well with our adult relationships. If we exercise our capacity to focus and pay attention it will grow and the relationship will grow, just like our children. Our adult relationships do not and should not have the same unconditional priority and commitment as our children but I think we can take some of the good practices that we develop and grow within the dynamic child/parent exchange and apply them to our more meaningful adult relationships.

Giving The Gift of Attention

17 Oct

This blog post is a continuation of the blog post Being Attentive In Adult Relationships in which I discussed the often distracted attention level in adult relationships. I left off discussing the increased energy and focus in adult relationships.

Personally, I don’t believe attention requires too much energy and focus, I think most of us have more capacity than we express. What draws this energy out is another issue altogether. I think friendships, direct relationships, and critical adult connections deserve and warrant our undistracted attention in more regular and ordinary interactions. If this deeper and more nourishing energy doesn’t get pulled out of us for some important reason or another, then we need to give it and we need to give if just for the sake of giving, much like we do with our children. What’s to lose?

I also believe that the more we exercise this effort of ‘giving’ our attention in the form of energy and focus, the more we build capacity, like building a muscle in our body. We certainly build our ‘child attention’ muscle by using it. Most parents find being a parent easier and their energy more accessible with their second and third children. Why? Because their capacity grew with use and exercise.

Guest Blog: Displaced Attention

16 Oct

My guest post on Single Parents is up on The Successful Single Dad.

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