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The Parenting Generational Gap – Part 1

9 Jan

“Nobody told me how to get friends when I was your age, I just did it”.

“My teacher didn’t tell me how to study for a test, I learned from my mistakes”.

“My parents didn’t tell me how to have a good marriage, I learned it the hard way”.


This is such an closed minded reaction by a parent to their kids. In the past I have heard this many times when talking to parents about their children and what they think their kids deserve. Some older parents actually believe that not knowing because they weren’t taught is okay. This philosophy and the branding of their own parenting style around it is lazy at best and borders on irresponsible at the worst.

We have the wonderful opportunity today to know much more than our parents and our offspring will know much more than us. This is the cycle that should advance, not the tired and overused “I didn’t have it and I turned out okay, so you will be fine too” mentality.  It takes a wish to learn more, to understand better and to provide a different intelligence as the parent. This is a different paradigm than that of many of our previous generations and it should be embraced.

Read more on this topic next Wednesday, January 16th.

Download “The Dad Connection” for FREE December 6th

4 Dec

I would love to share with you a free copy of my book for a limited time. This week I will be releasing the Kindle version of my book for free on Amazon for 24 hours. Starting Thursday, December 6th at 12:00 AM PST you will be able to download “The Dad Connection” for free.

Below are steps on how to download:

  1. Create an Amazon account (if you already have an Amazon account simply login)
  2. Search for “The Dad Connection” in the Kindle Store on Amazon.
  3. Download “The Dad Connection” and enjoy!


Remember, this will only be available for a limited time on December 6th starting at 12 AM PST for 24-hours. Don’t miss out on this great offer!

A Parent’s Worst Nightmare Series

28 Nov

A Taste:

I am grateful and I feel blessed that as a parent my only real experience of terror was losing Ian at the ballpark. I think it would be pretty difficult to look forward to parenting if our mindset was fear of terror and I think it is certainly a valid concern. Which is why the person reading my book asked the question in the first place.

Links:

A Parent’s Worst Nightmare: Part One – http://wp.me/pXO5l-iM
A Parent’s Worst Nightmare: Part Two – http://wp.me/pXO5l-iQ
A Parent’s Worst Nightmare: Part Three – http://wp.me/pXO5l-iT

A Parent’s Worst Nightmare: Part Three

21 Nov

I am grateful and I feel blessed that as a parent my only real experience of terror was losing Ian at the ballpark. I think it would be pretty difficult to look forward to parenting if our mindset was fear of terror and I think it is certainly a valid concern. Which is why the person reading my book asked the question in the first place.

If some serious safety issue does occur with our kids a sense of terror may easily overwhelm us no matter how we are built. I was fortunate in that my terror was short lived and based on much of my own doing rather than a definitive experience. Terror is real and at some point and time it will probably be experienced by every parent. Making attempts to fully inform children, not haranguing them, on the front side of risky situations will lessen the frequency.

A Parent’s Worst Nightmare: Part Two

14 Nov

The Unknown

I realized that losing Ian for those few terrorizing moments was an experience many parents must have and most probably go through it in a very similar way. I also realized that the not knowing was the terrifying part for me. I don’t remember ever being terrified because of what I might expect or what I might encounter as a parent, only when I was faced with a possible safety issue at the ballpark and did not have enough information. Lack of information caused my terror not their behavior or circumstances.

Adolescent Anxiety

It had only happened a few times while my boys were young, but when they went through adolescence I had a lot of anxiety, especially when they started to drive. I don’t equate it to the terror I felt when I lost Ian at the game but the kind of anxiety that builds when they are older because of the same issue, lack of information, just not as intense or as direct. It is often spread out over hours, not minutes, while you are left waiting until you hear your car finally drive up in the driveway. I don’t think this is all that avoidable, our kids all eventually start to drive. Worry is part of the dynamic as our children grow but it doesn’t have to terrify us. Remembering the information about telling Ian to seek out a police officer when I lost him reduced my sense of terror to worry and finding him knowing that he did what is asked reinforced my commitment to communicate information, not worry.

Information vs. Control

I did the same with the driving thing. I told my boys as much as I could about my driving experiences. I took them out driving and set up challenging experiences. We experienced night driving, snow driving, steep curve driving, playing loud music while driving, fast driving orders, and confusing directions to attempt to recreate possible situations they would ultimately find themselves in. I don’t know if it worked, but I felt less worried because I had given them as much information as I had. If something happened while I was anxiously waiting for them to return all those nights at least I felt they had a better chance for handling the situation that otherwise could lead to a terrifying experience.