Move From Control, Toward Influence

24 May

{This post is part of a recurring series of thoughts about control and children.}

Image via Lindsey Gee

Kids make hundreds of poor judgments/calls- and so do adults, for that matter it’s unrealistic to expect otherwise. The effort parents put into trying to control their children’s experiences could be better spent teaching them how to analyze opportunities and make better, though not perfect, decisions. This is harder work, indeed. When we are not trying to control our kids, we are left with the responsibility of teaching them how to manage life directly, realistically and with awareness of consequences. It may appear daunting, but when we change our mindset away from control and toward influence, many daily activities become substantially more enjoyable for both parties because we no longer have to tightly hold together (control) all the little pieces of their very active lives. A great man once told me, “Control is like trying to put five fingers on five fleas…you can’t do it.” It doesn’t hurt to try, but let go if it begins to create too much resistance especially if their safety is not in serious danger.

Please check back with me on 5/29/2012 for more on this topic! Until then, feel free to let me know if you have any questions or thoughts.

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