Book Excerpt: A Two-Way Street

28 Dec
 In preparation for the publishing of my book I have been posting weekly short excerpts. I hope you enjoy this sneak peek- and if you’re interested in ordering a copy for yourself, visit here! Many thanks to all you great supporters out there.
Scott with Ian and Max
One of the most important things I learned about building this parent-child bridge is that, initially, it is not a two-way bridge. This will undoubtedly disturb many readers and evoke disagreement. I found it a bit difficult to accept myself at first. However, in building my bridge, eventually I took 100% of the responsibility and I maintained it until each of the boys could begin to construct their own support system and use the bridge back to me. In other words, once I had built the bridge and used it consistently for several years, both Ian and Max were able to hop on it and connect to me with the same level of regard and spirit with which I connected to them. This was one of the hidden beauties of the bridge. This didn’t happen for me until well after their teenage years.The bridge that you build between yourself and your child can be as simple or elaborate as you need. However, it must have a foundation, a span, and tangible supports, such as the eight elements on which I chose to focus. I used these elements to reach out to my kids during times of confusion, stress, and emotional pain (whether theirs or mine). I believed that if I did a poor job in building my bridge, it might buckle under simple strains or pressures as our relationship grew and expanded. Therefore, I made a conscious effort to construct my bridge with as much care and awareness as I could muster, especially during their early years. It was enormously gratifying when I experienced this bridge serving as an unseen force that supported our relationship as my boys grew into adulthood.


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