Book Excerpt: Laying the Foundation

15 Dec
 In preparation for the publishing of my book I have been posting weekly short excerpts. I hope you enjoy this sneak peek- and if you’re interested in ordering a copy for yourself, visit here! Many thanks to all you great supporters out there.
I refer to the connection to my boys as a bridge because I felt like the efforts I made each day to communicate and connect with them were very much analogous to building a bridge. Each of their trials and tribulations, no matter how minor, became building blocks for our connection. Some experiences functioned to provide support, some reinforced the structure, and still others created the bond.
This bridge became critically important to me as a parent later in their lives. It allowed me to effectively reach out to my boys during their times of stress, confusion, and even pain. For me, the bridge also became a working model through which to communicate some of my thoughts and values through my actions, which I hoped would greatly assist them as they grew into adulthood.
If that bridge had been poorly constructed—for example, lacking key components likelove or respect—it likely would have buckled under the simple strains and pressures that naturally arise in a parent-child relationship. I remember a period of time when Ian had trouble staying over at friends’ homes.
Scott with Ian and Max
He would invariably call me late at night, after everybody was asleep, and in a muffled, soft voice, he would ask me to come and get him. This was not ordinary behavior for Ian—typically he was self-assured and comfortable in any setting. But there was something about not being at home at night that was difficult for him. I got in my truck and picked him up, no questions asked. We didn’t discuss it unless he initiated the discussion.

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