Book Excerpt: Connection

25 Oct

In preparation for the publishing of my book in the upcoming month, I will be posting weekly short excerpts. I hope you enjoy this sneak peek- and if you’re interested in pre-ordering, sign up to receive our emails at the top of this page, right side. Many thanks to all you great supporters out there.
As a new parent, it struck me that I had a small window when my kids were very young to build a critical and valuable connection, or link, to them. I didn’t want to be among the legions of parents who look back on their relationship with their kids and say, “If only I had done things differently…” or “If I had it to do over again, I would…”.

I had an intuitive understanding, untested as it was that the connection between Ian, Max, and me would have to be carefully constructed and would require a considerable amount of my attention and awareness. The initial sense of the enormity of this effort—to maintain constant awareness of the connection between my boys and me—was daunting, until I discovered an organizing perspective that helped me navigate to this end.

My perspective was founded on the single principle that my goal was to connect and to nourish. At the time, there was a part of me that thought this might be naïve, but I pointed myself in that direction anyway and started carving a path through what was, for me, uncharted territory. In my mind, I held an image of a bridge.

Perhaps it was because I was a contractor and the idea that all bridges connect one thing to another appealed to me. I have always been fascinated by the complex yet fundamental architecture of bridges. Every bridge has the same basic parts, no matter how simple or complex it is. We are constantly creating bridges to our children and, for that matter, to anyone with whom we have a relationship.

My experience raising my two boys demonstrated just how valuable and important it was to build a communication bridge based on consciousness, honesty, and care. I know for certain that my relationship with my boys and my efforts to build this bridge nourished and enriched my life and I believe it has enriched theirs as well.


 

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