Control: Why do we want it?

19 Apr

Here is an interesting and possibly controversial understanding of the concept I began exploring last week.

One of the most significant parts of our life experience that are most definitely illusions are those areas in which we are convinced that we have ‘control’. This is especially true in relationship to our children. To a lesser degree it is true in all things, although it might be significantly more subtle and have some rather extensive grey lines outside the parent/ child relationship.

I believe it’s deeply ingrained in our constitutions on all levels.

For sure our children will not hesitate to inform us that we are not in control. I would believe them if I were you. It is true. If we insist on building our relationship with them based on a sense of our control, we will very likely be disappointed and quickly find ourselves outside the range of being able to capture their genuine feedback or effective connection. Most healthy self-determining humans will not tolerate being controlled.

Exactly why should we expect our children to tolerate it?

Follow up with this series on control Thursday, when I’ll delve a little more deeply into the misconception we call “control”.


One Response to “Control: Why do we want it?”


  1. Control: It’s In Our Nature. « - April 21, 2011

    […] from Tuesday’s closing question; Exactly why should we expect our children to tolerate being […]

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