Choose Your Battles Part 4

18 Mar

Appreciating the level of tension that is continuously layered into our lives as we grow and  consciously attempting to protect our children from these tensions early on can help them develop more enjoyable and fun-filled lives.

This can lead to happier lives as adults and the wonderful possibility that they will pass the same positive experiences and efforts on to their children. We must be able to accurately assess the situation and respond before it turns into a full-blown battle. In obvious cases in which our child’s behavior is clearly inappropriate for the situation, it is advantageous to act swiftly and purposefully. If we hesitate to react and the child runs to her bedroom and slams the door, it limits the remedies for us, and the solutions likely become more extreme.

More importantly, both parent and child might feel so committed to their positions that a resolution could only be reached after one person had surrendered or felt compromised. This doesn’t really resolve anything. Once the door has been slammed shut, nothing really gets resolved without considerable additional tension…it just gets put in an inner compartment to show up later in life.

We must be very careful in picking those rare occasions in which we can and should be aggressive. Don’t make the little things too big and don’t make the big things too little either. Allowing our children to live fun and happy lives requires a considerable amount of tolerance. We have to choose what we will and will not tolerate carefully.


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