Choose Your Battles Part 2

16 Mar

There is a fine but important distinction between being accommodating and flexible and being “all over the map.”

Our children will let us know their tolerance level by either agreeing or arguing. Argument can be healthy as long as it’s not about the parent’s will over the child’s.

As a parent, consider whether the disagreement at hand is really about the subject of the argument or simply about winning. There is rarely a winner in a battle of wills.

Rules, behavioral lines and parental decisions are critical and important, but they have to fit. They will function more effectively when we practice understanding with a bit of give and take in conjunction with discipline. If we steadfastly maintain a rigid position in support of our interests, then we may slowly alienate our children each time they wish to make their own choice about something.

This is especially true as our kids enter adolescence.

At that point, having already established a reserve of tolerance can be extremely beneficial, and even critical for a parent. Without it, we will likely be in a constant state of disagreement with our child, and might create a barrier in the bridge that takes years to remove.

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