Trust Part 2

1 Mar

Trust is a funny thing- and an important facet of a meaningful relationship.

Twenty-year relationships have dissolved due to a surprise awareness of some specific lack of trust that was either assumed or expected. Long-term and important relationships are constantly re-balancing themselves on the basis of defining the levels of trust and then learning how to build on that trust.

We build trust in an adult relationship by an equitable exchange based on shared values and the continuous learning and understanding of what is important to the other person.

This is a lot of work and many mistakes are made in this area.

We can also begin to develop areas that we don’t trust, accept them as givens and then incorporate those in to the relationship. This is usually not healthy. Generally, familiarity begins to set limits on trust and we begin to negotiate our levels of trust by what we can tolerate and what we can not.

All too often there are not open discussions and we begin assuming because trust is by nature emotionally challenging. Most relationships tend to avoid conflict as they grow closer in order to minimize the possibility of separation. Trust is an area that is continuously threatened by the smallest of behaviors.

Typically subtle but significant misconceptions arise more frequently and distrust begins to dominate the relationship. It’s surprising how much distrust an adult relationship can tolerate and still function.

 

Be sure to check out Trust Part 1, and Trust Part 3 which I will publish on Thursday! Thanks for reading, as always.

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